I'm starting to get addicted to blogging. I feel amazing as i push the "Publish Post" button every time i create an entry. It feels like I'm putting part of me out there for the world to see.
There is fear in that but at the same time there is a rush of excitement. I have a place in the cyber world, i have a page with my name that anyone in the world can visit.
A blog is more than i ever imagined it would be. My ideas have a place and somehow i feel validated. I cant stop myself from checking my email every half and hour just to see if i received comments. I cant stop myself from watching the stats as the page opens and you wouldn't imagine the happiness as the number moved from 20 to 21.
I'm starting to read other blogs as well and its always fun to find good blogs to read. I realize more and more how much we are all similar. We have the same concerns and the same dreams.
No matter how different we are i find that Amman unites us more than we realize.
Blogging is truly a joy.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
The best experience of my life
Last year in July i lived one of the best experiences in my life. It wasn't a vacation nor was it a love relationship. I was a participant in the University of Southern California (USC) digital film-making workshop organized by the royal film commission.
The workshop lasted for one month and i have to tell you that i took an unpaid vacation just to be able to do it. I couldn't believe it when my boss said that its ok for me to take the vacation and for that God bless you Mones.
My interest in movies has been there forever and just last year i realized that i don't need to stay the receiver anymore, i can be the creator. In that acknowledgment lies a massive power that i realized later. Our interest in movies originates from the human interest in stories and cinema is just the medium. And As McKee puts it, "the art of story is the dominant cultural force in the world, and film is its dominant medium".
In my application i remember that i wrote "I feel that I have creative potential that is not being fulfilled by my current work. I have this urge to create and to be part of the film-making process. I will put my life on hold just to be part of this experience. This is the first step on the road of realizing my dream".
They asked me what my favourite movies are and why. This is what i wrote.
A beautiful mind, The bridges of Madison County, City of Angels, Back to the future and The pursuit of happiness.
I love the movies that provoke true emotion in the viewer and I truly felt that while I watched each of the movies above. I was shocked when I discovered that John Nash in "A Beautiful Mind" was hallucinating that he is working for The Department of Defense. I was totally engaged in Francesca's dilemma to leave with her lover or to stay with her family in "The Bridges of Madison County" and I could understand Seth's sacrifice of eternity just to be with the love of his life in "City of Angels". These are not just movies, these are characters that became part of my experience as a human being and they entered in my paradigm as a whole.
The workshop was conducted in this old building in first circle, just beside the coffee shop Old View. I just love 1st circle and it was like i was entering this different zone when i got there every morning. The numbers world lies in my workplace in Shmeisani while the world of magic is here in the 1st circle.
I love to sleep and everyday as my alarm rings i feel a strong inclination to stay asleep just a little bit more but in that month in July i didn't want to sleep. I woke up so early to arrive on time. They told us that the movie business is all about commitment and punctuality. Time is money and you have to be responsible just like you were on a set. I got this massive energy to do the million things that i was doing and my happiness was limitless.
In the workshop we learned more about writing scripts by actually writing. Its amazing what you can accomplish by overcoming your fears and just doing it. Julie the writing instructor used to tell all of us to stand and shout "I failed" just so that we can accept the fact that failure is part of the process.
I learned what that the director doesn't do everything. I learned about the roles of the producer , cinematographer, editor, grip, gaffer etc..
I learned what a wide shot, a medium shot and a close-up are and i learned to never never ever zoom into the actors face the way Egyptian movies do.
Most important of all i met people who shared my love for the industry and i became one of them. At the beginning i remember i felt self-conscious that i had no film experience when most of the participants either studied theater, made movies in the past or worked in animation. I felt like i didn't belong, i was this financial person and everyone wondered why. Why was i interested in this totally unrelated field. Why i took unpaid vacation just to be here and why i wanted this at all. In my heart i knew that i wanted this so bad, this was the dream that came true. This made me so happy that i was bursting with energy. This is my passion.
Film-making is no easy business, its more work that my previous audit job at Arthur Anderson, which is the maximum work there is. Shooting one scene can take a day. There are always surprises and you never know how smooth things will flow but you prepare and hope for the best. I have to say that this is the best work I've ever done. It didn't matter to me when i got burned by the blazing sun near Wild Jordan as i was directing my first scene. It didn't matter that actors messed up the lines and had to repeat several times. It didn't matter that cars kept passing and interrupted the shoot a million times. All that didn't matter because i was doing something i loved. Creating a project of mine and working with a great team.
Finally i wanna say that the amazing thing about film is the creative power to communicate messages that can reach the whole world. Movies make a difference in how people perceive life and they reach us better than any news report on CNN or Aljazeera can. I'm glad that now i can be part of the process to change the world. Movies live beyond our time on earth they are immortal and everyone loves to leave a legacy.
The workshop lasted for one month and i have to tell you that i took an unpaid vacation just to be able to do it. I couldn't believe it when my boss said that its ok for me to take the vacation and for that God bless you Mones.
My interest in movies has been there forever and just last year i realized that i don't need to stay the receiver anymore, i can be the creator. In that acknowledgment lies a massive power that i realized later. Our interest in movies originates from the human interest in stories and cinema is just the medium. And As McKee puts it, "the art of story is the dominant cultural force in the world, and film is its dominant medium".
In my application i remember that i wrote "I feel that I have creative potential that is not being fulfilled by my current work. I have this urge to create and to be part of the film-making process. I will put my life on hold just to be part of this experience. This is the first step on the road of realizing my dream".
They asked me what my favourite movies are and why. This is what i wrote.
A beautiful mind, The bridges of Madison County, City of Angels, Back to the future and The pursuit of happiness.
I love the movies that provoke true emotion in the viewer and I truly felt that while I watched each of the movies above. I was shocked when I discovered that John Nash in "A Beautiful Mind" was hallucinating that he is working for The Department of Defense. I was totally engaged in Francesca's dilemma to leave with her lover or to stay with her family in "The Bridges of Madison County" and I could understand Seth's sacrifice of eternity just to be with the love of his life in "City of Angels". These are not just movies, these are characters that became part of my experience as a human being and they entered in my paradigm as a whole.
The workshop was conducted in this old building in first circle, just beside the coffee shop Old View. I just love 1st circle and it was like i was entering this different zone when i got there every morning. The numbers world lies in my workplace in Shmeisani while the world of magic is here in the 1st circle.
I love to sleep and everyday as my alarm rings i feel a strong inclination to stay asleep just a little bit more but in that month in July i didn't want to sleep. I woke up so early to arrive on time. They told us that the movie business is all about commitment and punctuality. Time is money and you have to be responsible just like you were on a set. I got this massive energy to do the million things that i was doing and my happiness was limitless.
In the workshop we learned more about writing scripts by actually writing. Its amazing what you can accomplish by overcoming your fears and just doing it. Julie the writing instructor used to tell all of us to stand and shout "I failed" just so that we can accept the fact that failure is part of the process.
I learned what that the director doesn't do everything. I learned about the roles of the producer , cinematographer, editor, grip, gaffer etc..
I learned what a wide shot, a medium shot and a close-up are and i learned to never never ever zoom into the actors face the way Egyptian movies do.
Most important of all i met people who shared my love for the industry and i became one of them. At the beginning i remember i felt self-conscious that i had no film experience when most of the participants either studied theater, made movies in the past or worked in animation. I felt like i didn't belong, i was this financial person and everyone wondered why. Why was i interested in this totally unrelated field. Why i took unpaid vacation just to be here and why i wanted this at all. In my heart i knew that i wanted this so bad, this was the dream that came true. This made me so happy that i was bursting with energy. This is my passion.
Film-making is no easy business, its more work that my previous audit job at Arthur Anderson, which is the maximum work there is. Shooting one scene can take a day. There are always surprises and you never know how smooth things will flow but you prepare and hope for the best. I have to say that this is the best work I've ever done. It didn't matter to me when i got burned by the blazing sun near Wild Jordan as i was directing my first scene. It didn't matter that actors messed up the lines and had to repeat several times. It didn't matter that cars kept passing and interrupted the shoot a million times. All that didn't matter because i was doing something i loved. Creating a project of mine and working with a great team.
Finally i wanna say that the amazing thing about film is the creative power to communicate messages that can reach the whole world. Movies make a difference in how people perceive life and they reach us better than any news report on CNN or Aljazeera can. I'm glad that now i can be part of the process to change the world. Movies live beyond our time on earth they are immortal and everyone loves to leave a legacy.
Monday, March 24, 2008
A theory of love
I remember the academic courses at Jordan University to be quite dull and boring but one course really affected me and it was called "Introduction to social psychology". I used to read ahead of the class because the topics discussed in it were so compelling.
Topics in that course explored how humans change their behaviour when others are present, how soldiers are convinced to kill in the war and exploration of some of the theories related to love.Now that was new to me and i would love to share this theory that stuck with me since university. It is called the Triangular Theory of Love. I actually refer to it when i discuss such topics with my friends.
This theory was developed by a psychologist named Robert Sternberg and according to him love consists of three components:
1) Intimacy:
Is the feeling of closeness that exists between two people.
Intimacy is characterized by feelings of caring, concern, understanding, trust, and closeness between two partners. Intimate partners are good friends and support each other in times of need. Intimacy is primarily emotional in nature.
Topics in that course explored how humans change their behaviour when others are present, how soldiers are convinced to kill in the war and exploration of some of the theories related to love.Now that was new to me and i would love to share this theory that stuck with me since university. It is called the Triangular Theory of Love. I actually refer to it when i discuss such topics with my friends.
This theory was developed by a psychologist named Robert Sternberg and according to him love consists of three components:
1) Intimacy:
Is the feeling of closeness that exists between two people.
Intimacy is characterized by feelings of caring, concern, understanding, trust, and closeness between two partners. Intimate partners are good friends and support each other in times of need. Intimacy is primarily emotional in nature.
2) Passion:
It is the drive that leads to romance, physical attraction and intercourse.
Passion is characterized by intense desire, feelings of longing, need of the partner, and joy at the thought of seeing the partner (and anxiety or worry at the thought of separation). Passionate partners crave each other's presence, much as do people who experience an addiction. Passion is primarily motivational in nature.
3) Decision / Commitment:
The decision and commitment to further a loving relationship.
The "amount" of love one experiences depends on the absolute strength of these three components while the "kind" of love one experiences depends on their strengths relative to each other.
Based on the different combination of the components we have the following eight types:
1) Non love: is the absence of the three love components
2) Liking: Present in true friendships where you feel the bond but with no passion or long-term commitment
3) Infatuation: is felt as "love at first sight"
4) Empty Love: present in arranged marriages where there is commitment but no passion or intimacy has developed
5) Romantic Love: an emotional and physical bond are there through intimacy and passion
6) Companionate Love: This type of love is often found in marriages in which the passion has gone out of the relationship but a deep affection and commitment remain
7) Fatuous Love: present in relationships and marriages where a commitment is motivated largely by passion, without the stabilizing influence of intimacy
8) Consummate Love: is the complete form of love, representing an ideal relationship toward which people strive.
Of the seven varieties of love, consummate love is theorized to be that love associated with the “perfect couple”.
May you all find your consummate lovers.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
1 week to go - Wharton
Im leaving in one week and i have to say that excitement is turning into anticipation.
I did my Bachelors and Masters degree in Jordan University and i truly do wonder how the best business school in the world is really like.
According to the Financial Times, Wharton has been ranked as the best business school in the world in every year in which the newspaper has ranked business schools, except for 2005, when it tied with Harvard Business School.
I have to say that they are competent, i received an email from the school giving me all the details concerning accommodation, logistics, campus and faculty names. In addition they sent some articles to read for week 1. I love this professional way of handling the students and im really looking forward for the learning experience.
I did my Bachelors and Masters degree in Jordan University and i truly do wonder how the best business school in the world is really like.
According to the Financial Times, Wharton has been ranked as the best business school in the world in every year in which the newspaper has ranked business schools, except for 2005, when it tied with Harvard Business School.
I have to say that they are competent, i received an email from the school giving me all the details concerning accommodation, logistics, campus and faculty names. In addition they sent some articles to read for week 1. I love this professional way of handling the students and im really looking forward for the learning experience.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Beauty
Tom Cruise, Marilyn Monroe and Michelle Pfeiffer are all beauty icons. They have something that makes us want to look at them.We all know people with beautiful faces but really what is beauty? is there truly a universal definition of beauty? and what is that factor that makes someone beautiful?
According to my oxford dictionary:
Beauty is a combination of qualities that give pleasure to the sight or the senses or to the mind.
The interesting thing is when i knew that there was a science studying this whole concept.
I was introduced to this science through a BBC documentary called "The Human Face" which lead me to the site http://www.beautyanalysis.com/. Most of the information in this entry is based on these two sources.
Apparently British scientists have discovered that human infants are born with an innate concept of what makes an attractive face.
Research at Exeter University has found that newborn babies show a marked preference for people with features that are conventionally judged as handsome by adults.
The findings suggest that ideals of facial beauty are not determined by culture alone, but also rely on universal standards that have been hard-wired, or imprinted, in our genes.
"Attractiveness is not simply in the eye of the beholder, it is in the brains of newborn infants, right from the moment of birth", says Alan Slater, a developmental psychologist who led the study.
To understand this we need to go to back to look at our species. All animals need a way to identify their own species for mating, bonding, self- protection and other survival purposes. The animals usually use one or a combination of their senses like sound, smell and vision.
Humans, on the other hand, are considered visual animals who identify each other by sight. And in our genetic code we have a visual image of the "ideal" human face. It's a subconscious image of what a "human" is supposed to be. The more a face resembles this "Ideal Human Face Image" - the more we perceive it to be human which also sets off in us a conscious response of "attraction" and "positive emotion".
Throughout history many different numbers have been tried in an attempt to describe beauty and one mathematical relationship has been consistently & repeatedly reported to be present in beautiful things. That relationship is called the “Golden ratio” which is the ratio of 1.618 to 1.
An American beauty surgeon and researcher called Stephen Marquardt studied beauty for a very long time and based on the golden ratio he constructed the Beauty mask that is used to measure beautiful faces. I checked the website and i found that the mask is applied to different faces and actually the more the face matches the mask the more beautiful it is. You can check it for yourself.
I find all of this very fascinating because it gives a scientific explanation for such abstract concepts like beauty and attraction.
I recommend watching the video on you tube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AZe9g2Huz0&feature=related
You can also check Stephen Marquardt's website: http://www.beautyanalysis.com/index2_mba.htm
Other recommended readings include: ttp://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article478835.ece
Monday, March 10, 2008
Identity
Who am i?
I am a woman who lives in Jordan and has Palestinian blood in her veins. I'm a financial analyst and i work with numbers all day but still I'm a writer. I am a screenwriter and a film-maker because i believe in the power of stories. I'm a daughter, a sister, a friend and I'm a citizen of this world. I'm just a human.
I always ask myself this question and i think its not due to a lack of an answer but a re-definition of it.
I don't believe the above is the answer. All these are roles i was given or positions i got to be in but who i really am is something that life keeps revealing to me.
This was my little introduction to break the ice and start writing. Its my way of fighting the
perfectionist urges that crawl up my mind stopping me from writing anything. As i print these letters in my 1st post i want to explain the name of the blog.
155 is the number of days I'm going to be spending in America. This visit has been my dream for as long as i remember. When i was 18 years old i wrote in my
journal:
"I'm a normal girl whose experience in life hasn't exceeded eighteen years. I think like all the teenagers in the world. I want to get my driver's license and i dream of the perfect love story.
I'm in a continuous struggle to lose weight so that i would look like Claudia Schiffer on the cover of Cosmo. I fight with my parents and i talk with my friends about the handsome guy on TV. But in the midst of this shallow exterior are principles and ideas that are as solid as the ground i walk on.
I dream of going to America and it's not a silly dream. It's my chance to see the world naked without a twist. It's a chance to live a life of unfamiliarity. Subconsciously it might be running away from a crushed Arab reality or from a restricted Jordanian society. No matter what it is i see it as an opportunity"
Years have passed and I'm actually on the verge of fulfilling this dream. 2 days before the new year, 2008, arrived i called the Amideast and i was informed that i was accepted in the Legal and Business Fellowship program. Five months of the American way, one month academic course in Wharton and 4 months of work in New York. What can i say my wishes were answered. This is the story of my 155 days in America and I'm leaving in 2 weeks.
I am a woman who lives in Jordan and has Palestinian blood in her veins. I'm a financial analyst and i work with numbers all day but still I'm a writer. I am a screenwriter and a film-maker because i believe in the power of stories. I'm a daughter, a sister, a friend and I'm a citizen of this world. I'm just a human.
I always ask myself this question and i think its not due to a lack of an answer but a re-definition of it.
I don't believe the above is the answer. All these are roles i was given or positions i got to be in but who i really am is something that life keeps revealing to me.
This was my little introduction to break the ice and start writing. Its my way of fighting the
perfectionist urges that crawl up my mind stopping me from writing anything. As i print these letters in my 1st post i want to explain the name of the blog.
155 is the number of days I'm going to be spending in America. This visit has been my dream for as long as i remember. When i was 18 years old i wrote in my
journal:
"I'm a normal girl whose experience in life hasn't exceeded eighteen years. I think like all the teenagers in the world. I want to get my driver's license and i dream of the perfect love story.
I'm in a continuous struggle to lose weight so that i would look like Claudia Schiffer on the cover of Cosmo. I fight with my parents and i talk with my friends about the handsome guy on TV. But in the midst of this shallow exterior are principles and ideas that are as solid as the ground i walk on.
I dream of going to America and it's not a silly dream. It's my chance to see the world naked without a twist. It's a chance to live a life of unfamiliarity. Subconsciously it might be running away from a crushed Arab reality or from a restricted Jordanian society. No matter what it is i see it as an opportunity"
Years have passed and I'm actually on the verge of fulfilling this dream. 2 days before the new year, 2008, arrived i called the Amideast and i was informed that i was accepted in the Legal and Business Fellowship program. Five months of the American way, one month academic course in Wharton and 4 months of work in New York. What can i say my wishes were answered. This is the story of my 155 days in America and I'm leaving in 2 weeks.
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