Identity

Who am i?

I am a woman who lives in Jordan and has Palestinian blood in her veins. I'm a financial analyst and i work with numbers all day but still I'm a writer. I am a screenwriter and a film-maker because i believe in the power of stories. I'm a daughter, a sister, a friend and I'm a citizen of this world. I'm just a human.

I always ask myself this question and i think its not due to a lack of an answer but a re-definition of it.

I don't believe the above is the answer. All these are roles i was given or positions i got to be in but who i really am is something that life keeps revealing to me.

This was my little introduction to break the ice and start writing. Its my way of fighting the
perfectionist urges that crawl up my mind stopping me from writing anything. As i print these letters in my 1st post i want to explain the name of the blog.

155 is the number of days I'm going to be spending in America. This visit has been my dream for as long as i remember. When i was 18 years old i wrote in my
journal:

"I'm a normal girl whose experience in life hasn't exceeded eighteen years. I think like all the teenagers in the world. I want to get my driver's license and i dream of the perfect love story.
I'm in a continuous struggle to lose weight so that i would look like Claudia Schiffer on the cover of Cosmo. I fight with my parents and i talk with my friends about the handsome guy on TV. But in the midst of this shallow exterior are principles and ideas that are as solid as the ground i walk on.

I dream of going to America and it's not a silly dream. It's my chance to see the world naked without a twist. It's a chance to live a life of unfamiliarity. Subconsciously it might be running away from a crushed Arab reality or from a restricted Jordanian society. No matter what it is i see it as an opportunity"

Years have passed and I'm actually on the verge of fulfilling this dream. 2 days before the new year, 2008, arrived i called the Amideast and i was informed that i was accepted in the Legal and Business Fellowship program. Five months of the American way, one month academic course in Wharton and 4 months of work in New York. What can i say my wishes were answered. This is the story of my 155 days in America and I'm leaving in 2 weeks.